1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,877
[Detective Donna Williams]
The Feds are now on the case.
2
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:04,670
They don't want me involved.
The least I can do
3
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,255
is feed you idiots
some useful information.
4
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:09,258
A single casing was found
in apartment 14F
5
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,886
belonging to a tenant
by the name of M. Dudenoff.
6
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:14,222
[Mabel Mora]
Look, there's a footprint on the radiator.
7
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,681
- Come here! Come here!
- [crashing]
8
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,600
Ben Glenroy?
9
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:20,728
[in Irish accent]
I'm Glenn Stubbins, Ben's stunt double.
10
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,523
I'm begging ya.
Can you help me get a job on your film?
11
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,234
I present to you the Brothers!
12
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:30,112
And when these gals read the fabulous
script that Marshall P. Pope wrote...
13
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,365
I-I just tried to get you all down
in the right way, you know?
14
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,574
At least how I pictured you.
15
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:36,327
[Eva Longoria] I'm not telling you to
sell your life rights, but if you do,
16
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:38,162
ask them for a shit-ton of money.
17
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,540
[Oliver Putnam]
Notice this intruder. A male arm.
18
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,500
And I don't trust its intentions!
19
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,460
[Charles-Haden Savage]
Sazz sacrificed everything for me,
20
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,796
and by the time I realized it,
it was too late to make it up to her.
21
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,173
Someday, I won't be able
to take the hits anymore.
22
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,217
I'm gonna open up a trampoline park.
23
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:54,263
[Mabel]
What is this place? A hideout?
24
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,973
Don't move or I'll blow
your fucking brains out.
25
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,058
[overlapping yelps]
26
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,520
[♪ gentle music playing]
27
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:07,067
[Marshall P. Pope]
What makes a writer a real writer?
28
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,322
It starts with the look.
29
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:17,243
A look that says,
I'm smart, confident, worldly,
30
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,079
important, but not self-important.
31
00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:25,377
I can quote David Foster Wallace
and Ace Ventura.
32
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:28,797
"Alrighty then."
33
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:33,009
It's about convincing the world, and,
34
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:36,054
honestly, yourself,
that you have the goods.
35
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,562
But the look only gets you so far.
36
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,277
- [typing]
- It comes down to what's on the page.
37
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,990
♪
38
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:01,287
And the page has to dazzle,
39
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:04,081
bright enough that it catches
the right person's eye.
40
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,169
♪
41
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,760
And then, you get the call.
42
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,012
They're making your movie.
43
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,097
You're a real writer now.
44
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,933
You're convinced the voice in your head,
45
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:24,185
the one that says you are a fraud,
46
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,979
is finally gonna go away.
47
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,106
Except, it doesn't.
48
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:32,610
And you start to wonder if it
[weak laugh] ever will.
49
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:33,694
[gun cocks]
50
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,113
Don't move or I'll blow
your fucking brains out.
51
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,740
The tragedy of it all!
52
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,785
Death comes for Oliver Putnam
in the prime of his life.
53
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,286
Fine, do it!
54
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:45,373
Extinguish my roaring flame,
but spare my friends!
55
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,918
[♪ dramatic crescendo]
56
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,253
Oh, my God, it's you?
57
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,630
Oh, I'm so sorry.
58
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,841
I've just been a little on edge.
59
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,760
I really do not like being
this far east of Brentwood.
60
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,637
Do you mind putting the gun down?
61
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,430
Oh, this? It's not loaded.
62
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,808
- [gunshots]
- [all yelling]
63
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,019
- [clicking]
- [screaming]
64
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:08,646
[Bev sighs]
65
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:12,024
Okay, so I'll be taking that...
away...
66
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,734
from you.
67
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,194
Bev, what are you doing here?
68
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,571
And whose gun is that?
69
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:19,907
It's your dead friend Sazz's,
I assume. I found it here in this...
70
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,534
I-I don't know what you call this place.
71
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,203
A sad... shack. A poverty cottage?
72
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,582
Stop deflecting.
Did you kill Sazz?
73
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:30,543
Ooh, I really like what
I'm seeing over here.
74
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,420
Mabel the investigator,
75
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:35,590
stomping around
in your patchwork trench coat,
76
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:38,217
solving crimes like
a millennial Nancy Drew.
77
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,679
- I'm really excited for our movie, guys!
- [Charles] Bev.
78
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,139
Did you kill her?
79
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,891
No, I did not.
80
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,852
But I think someone on the movie may have.
81
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,938
[♪ lively theme song playing]
82
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:54,026
[♪ vocalizing]
83
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,900
[♪ theme song fades out]
84
00:04:36,059 --> 00:04:37,068
[birds cawing]
85
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,529
[Charles] Bev, where were
you the night she was killed?
86
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,948
Ooh, I was hoping you would ask!
87
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:45,409
Well, here's me that night, in LA,
88
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,119
at Variety's Power Women Party
89
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,789
for the 100 Most Powerful Women Under 100.
90
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:53,084
It was, of course, at the Power Room.
I'm on top of the world.
91
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,836
I'm dressed head to toe in Chanel.
92
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:57,380
Ain't no one gonna fuck with this bitch,
you know what I'm saying?
93
00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,006
Anyway, Sazz called me.
94
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,967
I didn't pick up
'cause it was a random number,
95
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:04,929
but she left me a voicemail,
which I thought was interesting.
96
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,138
[clicks play button]
97
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,350
[Sazz] [on voicemail] Name's Sazz Pataki,
and I'm told you're the one to talk to.
98
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:13,062
Look, I can't get into this in a message,
but you need to call me, okay?
99
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,481
There's a problem with your
Only Murders movie.
100
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,109
A big problem,
and I can't say more than that.
101
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:20,278
11:07.
102
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,697
That's right after
she left to get the wine.
103
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,407
And you didn't call her back?
104
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:27,201
- I know you're all new to Hollywood, but...
- [Oliver] New?!
105
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:31,289
I'll have you know that I directed
Singing in the Rain 2 for VH1 in '88.
106
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:32,790
Town's still talking about it.
107
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,376
Gary Busey was in it,
and he stole all the cameras.
108
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:38,880
Listen, what I'm saying is
no one wants to get that call.
109
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,591
It's really hard to get
a movie made these days,
110
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,634
and I just wasn't in the mood
to hear about a problem.
111
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,970
So I took my good old time
getting back to her.
112
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:48,055
Then, the next thing I heard,
she was dead.
113
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,557
So you're haunted by guilt.
114
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,267
But you think everything
would be different
115
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,935
if you'd just called her back.
116
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:54,395
Oh, I'm haunted...
117
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,063
by the fear that this movie falls apart.
118
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,815
The stakes are through
the roof for me right now.
119
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:58,984
I passed on Barbie.
120
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,027
I need to find and fix this problem
121
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,945
before it takes down
the whole production.
122
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:06,073
So, I came here, and I turned
this place inside out,
123
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,411
but all I found were a couple of sketches
of trampolines and that gun.
124
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,997
[sighs] Can't believe I did that.
125
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:15,751
Guns are destroying our entire society.
126
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,419
[sighs] Can I have it back?
127
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,546
- [Oliver snorts]
- What? No!
128
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,841
Please! It kinda turned me on.
I don't know.
129
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:27,386
I just felt so powerful holding it.
[sighs] And I really think my notes
130
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,555
to writers would land better with a gun.
131
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,641
It's "Tighten up act two, guys,"
132
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:34,810
or "Tighten up act two." I mean,
which one are you gonna listen to?
133
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,812
Yeah, I think I'm gonna hold on to this.
134
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,105
Fine.
135
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,149
Well, I'm really glad
I bumped into you guys.
136
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,527
Investigating murders is exhausting.
137
00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,862
But you all seem to enjoy
this killer-finding thing,
138
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,198
so you find the killer, I save the movie.
139
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,574
How's that for a deal?
140
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,743
[♪ bright music playing]
141
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,455
[ambient street noise]
142
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,291
- [Charles] Get ready to be dazzled!
- [wheels squeaking]
143
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,254
What do you think?
144
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,256
I think the next time you
ask me to rush over here
145
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,966
for a break in the case,
146
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:06,425
you need to gimme something better than
147
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,969
20-fucking-thousand murder boards, okay?
148
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,136
It's only three!
149
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,390
That's three too fuckin' many, man.
What is this? Amateur hour?
150
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:15,101
May I remind you that these
amateurs have thrice bested
151
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,103
the NYPD homicide department.
152
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,646
Now, I think there's something here.
153
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:21,065
Sazz called Bev Melon
154
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,942
and said that there was
a problem on the movie.
155
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,777
And right after that, she was shot.
156
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,697
Ergo, someone on the movie killed Sazz
157
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,032
to keep this problem a secret!
158
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,826
Okay, so if this is such a hot theory,
159
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,578
then where's the rest of
your crew to vouch for it?
160
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,621
- [door opens, shuts]
- [Oliver] We're here! We're here!
161
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,291
Well, the good people of
Page Six have solved it.
162
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,294
The bicep on Loretta's
Instagram has been identified.
163
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,378
Wow.
164
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:45,214
[Oliver]
It belongs to one Jack Jonk.
165
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:48,968
He has a four-episode arc on Norfbun
as Loretta's love interest.
166
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,387
Go ahead, Loretta.
You know Jack Jonk, right?
167
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,097
- The former Olympic swimmer?
- Yeah, I do.
168
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,974
[Detective Williams]
So you know what that means, right?
169
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,143
Big-ass arms.
170
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,853
Big-ass legs.
171
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:01,731
- Big-ass...
- Oh, no, no. [stammers] I think,
172
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:04,317
to me, he has a perfectly normal physique.
173
00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:05,610
In fact, he reminds me of me
174
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,361
when I was doing
the elliptical two times a week.
175
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,030
- [Charles] Mm-hmm.
- [Mabel] Sorry, not listening.
176
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,531
Guys, have you seen these checks?
177
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,700
Oh, our life rights checks have landed.
178
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,702
I sent mine to my accountant in Belize.
179
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,412
- Where?
- Where, uh,
180
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,998
my accountant is hiking
the Xunantunich Mountains,
181
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,751
and who will return with the check
and deposit here,
182
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:24,378
so I can pay
the appropriate American taxes.
183
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:27,757
I just can't believe they're actually
paying us. It's so official.
184
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:30,718
- That's because we're professionals now.
- [Williams groans]
185
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,680
Yeah, we're professionals.
I'm a professional...
186
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,307
Wait, what do I do?
187
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,643
You do... this.
188
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:41,229
Well, what is "this" exactly?
189
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,688
God only knows.
190
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,691
Well, you... you know,
w-we have a podcast,
191
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,819
s-so you are a pod-smith.
192
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,073
- A crime-fluencer.
- How about podcast producer?
193
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,159
I'm a podcast producer.
194
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,662
I am a podcast producer.
195
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,163
No, but it's more like...
196
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,040
I'm a podcast producer!
197
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,084
Yeah, you don't have to overdo it.
You could just say...
198
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,212
[aloof]
"Oh, I'm a podcast producer."
199
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,089
[aloof]
I'm a podcast producer.
200
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,424
[normal]
But why is that so scary to say out loud?
201
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:13,010
Maybe it's 'cause you're
a producer on a podcast
202
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,638
about a crime that has
40,000 fuckin' suspects.
203
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,140
Not for long.
We are headed up to the production office.
204
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:21,352
We are gonna poke around and knock
a few more names off these boards.
205
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:24,188
Okay, great. Sounds good.
So, while you guys do that,
206
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:27,483
I'm gonna get some more information
on this gun. In the meantime,
207
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,902
tighten it up. You hear me?
208
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,197
Fuckin' amateur...
Take this shit off the board!
209
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,449
- Think she was impressed.
- [Oliver growls]
210
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,368
- [elevator dings]
- [♪ jaunty music playing]
211
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:40,205
- [people chattering]
- [Trina Brothers] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
212
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,041
- Oh God. I have an idea.
- [Trina laughs]
213
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,335
These three should be
in the photo shoot, too.
214
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,588
- [Trina gasps]
- Why aren't you writing this down?
215
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,548
- [heavy bag dropping]
- [Oliver snorts]
216
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:54,218
Oh, [laughs] well, Oliver Putnam
does love a photo shoot.
217
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,928
My hair guy is in a home now,
218
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,389
so there's a bit of paperwork
involved in getting him out, but...
219
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,266
Well, what...
What is this photo shoot?
220
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,852
It's marketing for the movie.
Ready for the concept?
221
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,395
Full frontal nudity.
222
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:07,648
Two bodies ravaged by time.
223
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,442
And one dewy with promise.
224
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,569
Nobody's doing a naked photo shoot.
225
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,946
Wait, yes! It should be the opposite.
226
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,032
You drowning in your season one outfits.
227
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,116
- Oh...
- Did you get that?
228
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,701
Season one outfits.
229
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,828
And the actors in identical looks?
230
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,039
Doubles, illusions.
231
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,332
So cliché.
232
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,043
- [haughty laughter]
- [elevator dings]
233
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,546
- Don't be late.
- [case wheels squeaking]
234
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,676
Hey, Oliver! [gasps]
235
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:38,262
I saw Page Six today. Oh, my God.
236
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,473
Sounds like your girlfriend's
about to get Jonked.
237
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,683
I'd prefer if you didn't put it that way.
238
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,352
Well, you gotta tell her though,
239
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:47,480
'cause it's best to line up
a good orthopedic surgeon now.
240
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,565
'Cause she's gonna need
a big hip replacement
241
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,442
after he drops that Jonk on her.
242
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,985
I'm sorry, you've used "Jonk"
243
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,738
as both a noun and a verb
in the span of 10 seconds.
244
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,699
Well, it can be both.
"The Jonk jonked my jonk till I jonked,"
245
00:10:58,700 --> 00:10:59,784
is a valid sentence.
246
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:03,704
Well, he and I don't
sound that different.
247
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:04,956
Both body guys.
248
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:06,249
- You know, love protein.
- Mm.
249
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,793
In fact, a lotta people don't know this,
but I-I myself
250
00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:11,128
- went through a steroids phase.
- Hm.
251
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,256
Prednisone for my sinus infections.
252
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:14,632
[Bev Melon]
Hm...
253
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,342
That's so interesting.
254
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,011
It's funny 'cause you don't strike me
as someone who would, like,
255
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,430
"care for their body."
256
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,431
Excuse me. I need to go find someone.
257
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,767
Actually, uh, uh, uh,
I-I-I'm known
258
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:28,396
as a bit of a Herculean figure
in the, uh, theater community.
259
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,940
Usually picked second for softball,
260
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,650
right after the lesbian stage manager.
261
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,485
And I don't wanna brag, but, uh,
262
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:38,489
I've been asked to be
a pallbearer. Many times.
263
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,616
- [elevator dings]
- [doors open]
264
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,451
- [production office chatter]
- [phones ringing]
265
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,536
- [sticking]
- Ooh.
266
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:46,956
What is this I'm standing on?
It feels like fly paper.
267
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,041
It's a tacky mat. Production thing.
268
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,668
I work here now, know all the words.
269
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:53,004
"Comtex."
"Gobo tweeny up and over."
270
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:54,797
"Grip." I can continue.
271
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:57,383
- I can't.
- It gets the dust off your shoes
272
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,510
so you don't track anything
into the sisters' nest.
273
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:00,928
It's a kick-off gift from Eva.
274
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,889
She has a full line of sticky products.
275
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:06,392
Boob tape, wound glue.
She's huge in adhesives.
276
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,936
Anyway, that's a wrap on me!
277
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,690
I gotta go martini two-shot
that best boy. [clicks tongue]
278
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,611
- This is a lot of suspects.
- [sticking]
279
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:19,405
What'd Detective Williams call us?
Amateurs?
280
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,075
Ama... If that's even the word she used.
I can't remember.
281
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,828
- It was amateurs.
- Yeah?
282
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,955
Well, would an amateur pretend
to be making a call
283
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:31,083
while secretly taking photos
for our murder board?
284
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,044
- Oh, yes! Uh...
- [loud shutter snapping]
285
00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:36,547
- ...yes, I can hold. Yes, I'll wait. Oh!
- [♪ jaunty music playing]
286
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,050
Yes, it's me, Martha! Hi! How are...
287
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:42,720
- I just wanna order those nachos. Uh, na...
- [shutter snapping continues]
288
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:45,306
Do you want nachos?
You don't? You don't want them?
289
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,184
Can you put some, uh, papa de gallo...
290
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:51,479
- [mutters] Pico de gallo.
- Paca de... Pico de gallo on that for me?
291
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,814
- Oh, look at this. That's so interesting.
- [shutter snapping]
292
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,191
Good work. Good work, everyone.
293
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:57,443
Yeah, that's fantastic.
294
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,779
I really hope the camera's
pointing the right way.
295
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,365
- Oh, shoot.
- [clicking]
296
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:03,867
[whispers]
Okay, here we go.
297
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:06,410
- [normal] Yeah. Uh-huh?
- [shutter snapping]
298
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,912
Well, that's interesting! Yes!
299
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,414
- [shutter snapping continues]
- Yes, I can hold, Martha.
300
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:13,960
[whispers] How are we supposed to tell
if one of these people is the murderer?
301
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,045
I guess we look for someone
who gets nervous
302
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,923
when they see us poking around.
303
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,676
Like him.
304
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:22,469
[thuds]
305
00:13:26,224 --> 00:13:27,849
- [button clicking]
- [♪ curious music playing]
306
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,183
Marshall, right?
307
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,935
We need to talk with you.
308
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:33,020
Oh shit, it's the whole trio.
309
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,356
Uh, fine. L-L-Let's do it.
310
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:39,026
We have a few questions about Sazz Pataki.
Did you happen to see...
311
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:41,572
Wait, I'm a suspect?
312
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:43,614
Oh, thank God.
313
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,576
Sorry, I-I thought you wanted
to give me more notes on the script.
314
00:13:46,577 --> 00:13:49,871
It's just you're producers...
co-associate producers...
315
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:53,124
and everyone's been hounding me
about rewrites, and I figured you...
316
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:54,876
[ragged breathing] But no, I'm...
317
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,545
I'm just a suspect.
[nervous laugh]
318
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,006
Um, okay, great. So,
319
00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:02,341
ask me where I was
the night Sazz got murdered.
320
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,051
- Not here.
- [shutter snaps]
321
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,679
- Let's talk at my place.
- [elevator dings]
322
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:09,515
- [gasps] Mabel! Hey! Hi!
- Hey, hi, hi.
323
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,601
I just went down to
the lobby to look for you.
324
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:14,312
Can you hang back
and talk with me for a second?
325
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:17,565
Come sit down with me.
Let's see if we can pass the Bechdel test.
326
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,026
[ropes creak]
327
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:23,154
Oh, by the way, the checks landed.
What are we gonna splurge on?
328
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,573
Oh, I'm probably gonna
sink mine into my business.
329
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:28,784
I'm... a... podcast producer.
330
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,870
Yeah. And I oversee a few...
331
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,039
a bunch of projects.
332
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,541
I'm sure you have
a million irons in the fire,
333
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,543
but I do happen to be looking for
334
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:41,714
a hot new podcast to adapt for
my next movie. So what have you got?
335
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,259
Oh! Um, I have lots of ideas.
336
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,803
You know, they're just not fully baked.
337
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,347
Mabel, nobody needs fully baked.
338
00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,182
All you need is a hook.
339
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:54,603
So what's your next podcast?
Go on. Hook me.
340
00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:57,355
- Like, now?
- Yeah, now. Why not?
341
00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:59,148
Uh... Um... The...
342
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,400
The first one is about...
343
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,735
people.
344
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,154
Tall people, short people,
345
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,615
all different-sized people.
346
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:08,784
Hm.
347
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,286
And, uh, there's, uh,
348
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,664
another one about buttons...
349
00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:18,334
being pushed... because of... trauma.
350
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,211
Ooh, I like that.
351
00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:22,964
You know what? Forget it.
None of these are really anything.
352
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:26,801
Mabel, do you want
the advice of a senior VP?
353
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:29,095
These ideas are fantastic!
354
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,721
They're relatable.
355
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,723
I mean, come on.
Who hasn't dealt with
356
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,433
people and buttons?
357
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,519
You know what?
I saw it in the shed.
358
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,105
I said, "The gal under 80,
359
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:41,274
she's the one you wanna bet on long-term."
360
00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:43,025
So, you know what?
I'm calling Billy Billberg.
361
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:45,319
He heads up the podcast division
of our corporation.
362
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,196
I can already see the potential!
363
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:49,657
Building brands, spreading trends
364
00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:52,535
make that Gen Z
get off their asses and listen.
365
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:53,703
Okay, so here's the plan.
366
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:56,247
[snaps fingers]
You're gonna flesh out these ideas,
367
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:59,917
and I'm gonna set you up
on a meeting ASAP.
368
00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:02,587
Oh, uh, uh, no,
I'm not sure about my schedule.
369
00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:04,547
[gibberish] I don't wanna hear it.
370
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:07,675
Shh. I don't wanna hear anything.
Mabel, listen to me.
371
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,720
They're not buying the idea
as much as they're buying you,
372
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:13,890
so don't stress. Case closed.
[pop] We're doing it.
373
00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:15,308
- Uh...
- [elevator dings]
374
00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:18,896
[♪ rhythmic knocking on door]
375
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,692
- [stops knocking]
- Ah-ha! It's me favorite trio!
376
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:27,738
- Ah, when'd you grow the beard, lassie?
- That's not Mabel.
377
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:32,742
Oh, well, um...
I's just leaving you dis gift.
378
00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:33,993
- Oh. Mm.
- There you go, Chuck.
379
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,412
It's me old gran's soda bread.
380
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,831
[sighs] Dropped your name.
Got meself a gig on the film.
381
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,958
Just odd jobs for now,
382
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:44,337
but I'll be, uh, doublin' for you
at the photo shoot later.
383
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:47,256
[laughs] Oh, Dublin. That's...
Doub... Oh, Glen!
384
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,967
Um, you're a stunt guy.
385
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:51,636
Would you say I'm physically fit?
386
00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:55,015
- [clicks button]
- Oh, sure. You're a right Conor McGregor.
387
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:57,808
- [stamping]
- I'll scrap ya! Motherf...
388
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:58,977
[water trickling]
389
00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:00,604
[recorder beeps]
390
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:04,315
I can't believe I'm getting
grilled by the actual trio.
391
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:07,693
[laughs] I've spent months picturing
how you would do an interrogation scene,
392
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,905
and now I'm inside one! Wild.
393
00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:12,949
Y-Yeah, you're really living the dream.
394
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:16,035
Um, can you tell us where
you were the night Sazz died?
395
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,370
It's funny you ask...
396
00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:19,247
Marshall, this script is amazing.
397
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,331
You like it?
398
00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:23,376
I love it! I've never seen myself
portrayed so accurately before.
399
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,503
"Charles peers shrewdly at the evidence,
400
00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:28,422
his keen analytical brain
thumping with thought."
401
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,841
Does a brain thump?
402
00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:31,801
Well, apparently, this one does.
403
00:17:31,802 --> 00:17:33,845
[Oliver]
"Oliver flits around the room,
404
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:36,889
a septuagenarian Peter Pan
or a male Tinkerbell"?
405
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,850
Okay, that's just bad writing, Marshall.
406
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:40,810
- Pick a metaphor.
- [Mabel] Aren't you supposed to be
407
00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:43,855
printing out the photos
we took in the production offices?
408
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:45,523
Fine, fine.
409
00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:48,526
B-But Marshall, take a look at
how you wrote me in the script
410
00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:50,612
because I do not walk like that.
411
00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:57,827
It's classic trio bickering.
412
00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:59,954
It's my favorite part of the podcast.
[laughs]
413
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:01,581
God, I love you guys!
414
00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:04,333
[clears throat] But to get back
to your question on where I was
415
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:07,045
the night Sazz died, the truth is...
416
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:11,424
I've been trying my hand at standup.
Observational stuff.
417
00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:13,801
I-I'm more of a storyteller
than a punchline guy.
418
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,803
Think Jonathan Winters meets Ali Wong.
419
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:19,348
That night, I was in West Hollywood,
doing a set at the Laugh-eteria.
420
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:20,808
Oh, I can show you on YouTube!
421
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:23,436
Actually, that would be useful.
It's my first time doing this hour and...
422
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,396
- Uh, that's okay.
- Wow. An hour.
423
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,481
Uh, Mabel, we oughta let
this kid get back to work.
424
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,859
The only thing he's guilty of
is great character writing.
425
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,486
- [excited giggle]
- [Mabel] [sighs] I'm sorry, Marshall,
426
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:36,408
before you go, is your beard fake?
427
00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:38,993
Oh God, is it that obvious?
428
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:41,579
Th-This is supposed to be
costume-grade human hair!
429
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:44,081
[Mabel]
I-It's a great beard, it's just...
430
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,418
can you tell me why you have it?
431
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,712
Uh... [laughs]
Yeah, this is so embarrassing,
432
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:52,048
but I-I can't really grow facial hair.
433
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:53,841
I-It's my first time on set,
434
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:56,886
and I wanted to sell myself
as a "real writer,"
435
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:59,515
and this is the look, right?
436
00:19:00,224 --> 00:19:03,226
Oh, these aren't... these aren't
real either. I have 20/10 vision.
437
00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:06,354
How could a writer of your talent
have imposter syndrome?
438
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:07,980
Actually, I get it.
439
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:11,067
Really? You're not an imposter.
440
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:12,944
Sometimes, I feel like one.
441
00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:15,112
That's crazy. You're my inspiration.
442
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,823
It's what drew me to your podcast.
443
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:20,868
You never pretend to be anything
other than what you are.
444
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:21,953
Amateurs.
445
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:24,705
- Hey, hey. Whoa.
- [Marshall] I was gonna say amateurs,
446
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:27,668
flailing their way to success.
447
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:29,503
You haven't missed.
448
00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:33,422
I-I mean, look at these murder boards!
449
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:36,425
They're a little homemade,
and yet you're...
450
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,678
You're probably on
the verge of a breakthrough.
451
00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:40,096
Finally, someone who sees it.
452
00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:42,557
You want me to walk you through it?
It could be helpful with the script.
453
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:44,643
That would be incredible.
454
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:49,564
You'll notice how this is organized
around the theme of questions.
455
00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:53,317
The who, the how, the why,
and the why now?
456
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:56,279
You know, we really should contact
the MasterClass people about this.
457
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,074
Wow.
So, you don't know who the target was?
458
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:02,410
Oh, no. Th... Don't look at that.
That's not ready for prime time.
459
00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:04,245
That "Why" section has
a lotta different motives...
460
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:07,373
No, no, th-th-that's not, yeah... But this.
461
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:10,418
This is my magnum opus.
The "How" board.
462
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,587
Note the timeline.
463
00:20:12,588 --> 00:20:15,423
- This baby's airtight.
- It's beautiful.
464
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:17,216
Although the... Ah, forget it.
465
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:19,969
- [Mabel] No, what?
- Nothing. It...
466
00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:21,512
It's just th-the timing.
467
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:23,472
Sazz left a voicemail at 11:07,
468
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,309
but her body hit the incinerator at 11:19.
469
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:28,436
That would mean someone
shot from the West Tower,
470
00:20:28,437 --> 00:20:30,521
came all the way over here,
cleaned up the crime scene,
471
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:32,732
and disposed of the body,
all in 12 minutes?
472
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:35,985
It could totally happen. You just haven't
thought about it the way I have.
473
00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:39,113
In fact, that might be the secret
to my crime-solving ability.
474
00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:43,117
I'm able to channel the mind of a killer.
475
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,037
You might wanna put that in the script.
476
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:46,913
[Marshall]
Uh...
477
00:20:46,914 --> 00:20:49,290
You're still not getting it? All good.
478
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,959
- Let me pitch the murder to you.
- [♪ music swells]
479
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,419
Picture this.
480
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,838
[♪ jazzy spy music playing]
481
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:57,423
Our killer takes his place...
482
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,799
- [cocks gun]
- ...or her place,
483
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,927
and waits for the target
to come into view.
484
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:04,138
- Minute one, our killer takes his shot.
- [gunshot, glass breaking]
485
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:07,183
Can I just commit to male pronouns?
It'll be easier. Anyway...
486
00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:08,518
Boom.
487
00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:11,395
Minute two, he takes the stairs
488
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:14,315
so as not to run into
anyone on the elevator,
489
00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:16,026
but he's gotta be quick!
490
00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:17,860
Minutes three to six,
491
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:20,404
our killer exits the West Tower
492
00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:22,740
and traverses the half-block
to the Arconia main entrance.
493
00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:23,867
[glove snaps]
494
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,328
[pedestrian]
Oh! Brazzos!
495
00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:30,373
[Charles]
Just another face in a New York crowd.
496
00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:33,460
[♪ spy music continues]
497
00:21:35,254 --> 00:21:36,546
Minute seven,
498
00:21:36,547 --> 00:21:38,172
our killer enters the lobby
499
00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:41,050
and expertly distracts
the doorman on duty.
500
00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:43,678
[mimics bird calling]
501
00:21:43,679 --> 00:21:47,599
Why, that sounds exactly
like a black-capped chickadee.
502
00:21:48,517 --> 00:21:51,019
What's a forest songbird
doing in my lobby?
503
00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:54,897
- [blows]
- [door opens]
504
00:21:54,898 --> 00:21:57,358
[Charles] Minutes 9 through 11,
he enters my apartment
505
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,027
and removes any trace of the crime,
506
00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:02,363
a task made easier by
the high-quality cleaning products
507
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:03,531
I have neatly organized
508
00:22:03,532 --> 00:22:06,534
in my high-quality
cleaning product cabinet.
509
00:22:06,535 --> 00:22:08,579
♪
510
00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,961
And finally, using what I assume
511
00:22:16,962 --> 00:22:18,337
is one of my missing suit bags,
512
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:20,548
our killer hoists the body
over his shoulder,
513
00:22:20,549 --> 00:22:21,967
- [echoing snap]
- and disposes of it...
514
00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:26,053
causing the power to surge
at exactly minute 12.
515
00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:27,138
♪
516
00:22:27,139 --> 00:22:28,222
[gunshot]
517
00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:31,058
- [power whirring]
- [♪ music fades out]
518
00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,644
Stylishly done.
519
00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:36,522
Huh. I-I'm just saying,
in order for it to happen in 12 minutes,
520
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:39,108
the person who did this would
have to be extremely fit.
521
00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:42,028
A gifted athlete in
the best shape of their life.
522
00:22:42,029 --> 00:22:43,988
You're describing our killer exactly.
523
00:22:43,989 --> 00:22:45,324
No, you're describing me.
524
00:22:46,491 --> 00:22:48,242
- I'll do it.
- Do what?
525
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:51,204
The murder.
I can reenact it in 12 minutes.
526
00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:53,206
I don't think that's a great idea.
527
00:22:53,207 --> 00:22:55,666
[laughs] Mabel, Mabel, Mabel.
528
00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:57,919
You have no idea
what this body of mine can do.
529
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,671
In 1981, I participated
530
00:23:00,672 --> 00:23:03,299
in a 24-hour kickline fundraiser.
531
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:06,469
- Like a Rockette?
- Exactly like a Rockette.
532
00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:08,804
It was called
"Let's Kick Rickets to the Curb
533
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,891
and If We Have Extra Send It to AIDS."
534
00:23:11,892 --> 00:23:13,518
We only had enough for rickets.
535
00:23:13,519 --> 00:23:16,270
Um, I-I'll test the theory.
536
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:18,064
Or Marshall can.
537
00:23:18,065 --> 00:23:19,857
You don't have anything you need to prove.
538
00:23:19,858 --> 00:23:23,110
Who's proving anything?
I'm simply a man in his prime,
539
00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:26,906
looking to use his rock-hard bod
to prove a murder timeline.
540
00:23:26,907 --> 00:23:30,284
Oliver, just the same,
you have a lot of things
541
00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:32,286
that Jack Jonk doesn't.
542
00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:34,790
You're sweet, for one. Your...
543
00:23:35,332 --> 00:23:37,334
scarves and...
544
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,295
Yes! And even if only 10%
of your stories are true,
545
00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:42,713
you've had an interesting life.
546
00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:46,008
Thank you, but this has
nothing to do with Jack Jonk.
547
00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:48,761
Now, here are your photos.
I have to locate my athletic wear
548
00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:51,430
and fly through this
killer's obstacle course.
549
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:52,974
[♪ curious music playing]
550
00:23:52,975 --> 00:23:54,058
Bang!
551
00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,143
[sighs]
552
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,813
Are you just gonna leave me up here?
553
00:23:58,814 --> 00:24:00,356
Do you want me to stop the clock?
554
00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:03,151
No, just help me down.
I sunk 20 grand into these knees.
555
00:24:04,236 --> 00:24:06,320
[grunts, sighs]
556
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:08,407
See you punks at the finish line.
557
00:24:10,075 --> 00:24:11,075
[Mabel sighs]
558
00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:12,661
Okay.
559
00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:17,373
[bannister squeaking]
560
00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:18,499
- [thuds]
- [screams]
561
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:21,002
♪
562
00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:22,129
[slurping]
563
00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:24,714
[Oliver yelps]
564
00:24:24,715 --> 00:24:25,882
[street chatter]
565
00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:27,091
[pedestrian]
Oh!
566
00:24:27,092 --> 00:24:29,802
Move it!
Kids on leashes should be illegal!
567
00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:31,012
I'm trying to do something here!
568
00:24:31,013 --> 00:24:32,096
- Get back!
- [mother gasps]
569
00:24:32,097 --> 00:24:34,807
Hey, hey! Nice outfit, jackass!
570
00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:37,768
- Yelling at children? Are you serious?
- [Oliver wailing]
571
00:24:37,769 --> 00:24:40,480
- [Oliver screaming]
- You cannot be serious!
572
00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:44,442
[Oliver panting]
573
00:24:44,443 --> 00:24:45,776
How am I doing?
574
00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:47,028
It's been 38 minutes.
575
00:24:47,029 --> 00:24:49,155
- What?!
- What happened to you, Oliver?
576
00:24:49,156 --> 00:24:52,491
[panting] Well, I got off to a good start.
577
00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:54,620
- No, you didn't.
- No, I did not.
578
00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:58,080
I've been on a journey.
579
00:24:58,081 --> 00:24:59,458
I saw things.
580
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,417
I did things.
581
00:25:01,418 --> 00:25:03,628
[voice breaking]
I failed.
582
00:25:03,629 --> 00:25:05,338
I failed as an athlete,
583
00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:07,673
as a... movie character,
584
00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:09,051
as a fashion icon...
585
00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:13,430
as a guardian of the city's wildlife.
586
00:25:14,389 --> 00:25:16,098
[normal]
I'd rather not elaborate on that.
587
00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:18,309
- Did you punch a bird?
- I said I'm not elaborating!
588
00:25:18,310 --> 00:25:20,186
It's not your fault, Oliver.
589
00:25:20,187 --> 00:25:23,689
Nobody could have done that in 12 minutes
unless they were superhuman.
590
00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:26,776
The only thing holding this murder board
together is my timeline,
591
00:25:26,777 --> 00:25:27,945
and it's all wrong!
592
00:25:29,321 --> 00:25:32,532
What are you doing?
Oh, my God, you're rewriting my character!
593
00:25:32,533 --> 00:25:34,575
Don't take away my thumping brain!
594
00:25:34,576 --> 00:25:35,993
- No, I-I mean...
- [door knocking]
595
00:25:35,994 --> 00:25:37,286
Oh, thank God. I'll get it!
596
00:25:37,287 --> 00:25:39,789
[sighs] One little mistake,
and suddenly I'm thumpless!
597
00:25:39,790 --> 00:25:41,249
[door opens]
598
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:44,002
- [door shuts]
- [wheels rattling]
599
00:25:44,795 --> 00:25:46,838
Oh, good. You're all here.
600
00:25:46,839 --> 00:25:48,297
I got your wardrobe.
601
00:25:48,298 --> 00:25:50,132
Gee, photo shoot.
602
00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:52,385
Reminds me of the time
I modeled for the, uh,
603
00:25:52,386 --> 00:25:53,928
great Robert Mapplethorpe.
604
00:25:53,929 --> 00:25:57,932
Uh, just Google, "Robert Mapplethorpe,
Lester Doorman."
605
00:25:57,933 --> 00:26:00,226
Of course, you won't recognize me
behind the gimp mask,
606
00:26:00,227 --> 00:26:03,605
but, uh, it's me in there.
Anyway, have fun.
607
00:26:05,357 --> 00:26:07,149
- [door opens, shuts]
- I never thought I'd say this,
608
00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:09,902
but Oliver Putnam is not
up for a photo shoot.
609
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:11,571
[Charles]
Me neither.
610
00:26:11,572 --> 00:26:14,031
Guys, we have to go to that photo shoot.
611
00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,325
[Charles]
Wow, Mabel, money has really changed you.
612
00:26:16,326 --> 00:26:18,245
One check and it's, "Hey, check me out."
613
00:26:19,121 --> 00:26:20,705
[sighs] No, look!
614
00:26:20,706 --> 00:26:23,082
It's the pictures you took
in the production office.
615
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:25,376
This shoe print on that tacky mat
616
00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:27,879
matches the one from Dudenoff's apartment.
617
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,298
The killer was up at
the production offices,
618
00:26:30,299 --> 00:26:33,176
which means they're probably
at the photo shoot.
619
00:26:33,177 --> 00:26:34,303
Shit...
620
00:26:35,053 --> 00:26:37,681
It's like I'm already watching
the sequel to my movie. [chuckles]
621
00:26:39,141 --> 00:26:41,225
♪
622
00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:43,644
- [shutter snaps]
- [indistinct chatter]
623
00:26:43,645 --> 00:26:45,730
[Tawny Brothers]
Oh, you're here.
624
00:26:45,731 --> 00:26:48,274
- This could be triggering.
- [Trina] Shoot.
625
00:26:48,275 --> 00:26:49,359
[camera beeping]
626
00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:52,070
[indistinct set chatter]
627
00:26:55,407 --> 00:26:56,408
[Oliver yelps]
628
00:26:57,576 --> 00:26:58,827
Just wait.
629
00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:00,662
[door opens]
630
00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:04,123
It's an honor to be
your stand-in, Putnam.
631
00:27:04,124 --> 00:27:05,584
You, too, Mr. Anaphylaxis.
632
00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:09,962
Yay! You made it! I'm so happy.
633
00:27:09,963 --> 00:27:11,631
Don't you love this concept?
634
00:27:11,632 --> 00:27:13,508
We have all of you multiplied.
635
00:27:13,509 --> 00:27:15,927
Then, we add mirrors.
636
00:27:15,928 --> 00:27:17,428
- [Oliver gasps]
- [Bev] It's so confusing,
637
00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:19,680
just like your podcast.
Check it out!
638
00:27:19,681 --> 00:27:21,016
Look at this.
639
00:27:21,642 --> 00:27:25,145
[♪ ominous crescendo]
640
00:27:29,483 --> 00:27:31,567
- [shutters snapping]
- [♪ runway pop music playing]
641
00:27:31,568 --> 00:27:33,069
Charlie's Angels.
642
00:27:33,070 --> 00:27:34,779
- Aah!
- [shutter snapping]
643
00:27:34,780 --> 00:27:36,822
Ron, Harry, Hermione.
644
00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:38,491
- [shutter snaps]
- [quietly] Harry Potter.
645
00:27:38,492 --> 00:27:40,618
- Hm? Oh yeah.
- [Oliver whooshing]
646
00:27:40,619 --> 00:27:42,287
Godfather 1, 2, 3.
647
00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:45,206
[Oliver growls]
648
00:27:45,207 --> 00:27:48,209
- Are you sure this plan is going to work?
- Absolutely not,
649
00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:51,254
but I didn't have a better idea
on such short notice.
650
00:27:51,255 --> 00:27:54,006
Let's take five. Charles, go to makeup.
651
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:56,759
Tell them we need you to
look a little less... [high hum]
652
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,177
They'll know what that means.
653
00:27:58,178 --> 00:27:59,262
This way, sir.
654
00:27:59,263 --> 00:28:01,848
[♪ "Contact" by BMGPM playing]
655
00:28:01,849 --> 00:28:05,018
[indistinct set chatter]
656
00:28:07,062 --> 00:28:08,480
[Eva]
Howard!
657
00:28:09,189 --> 00:28:11,315
- Howard! Ah.
- [chatter quiets down]
658
00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:14,110
Why is this box of Eva Longoria Tacky Mats
659
00:28:14,111 --> 00:28:16,279
not unloaded and laid out?
660
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,948
You think I want dust particles
in my nose all day?
661
00:28:18,949 --> 00:28:20,074
What are we making, Dune?
662
00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:23,911
[Howard Morris] Ms. Longoria, I will
lay out the Ms. Longoria Tacky Mats,
663
00:28:23,912 --> 00:28:26,747
but I will not be spoken to
like a common PA!
664
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:30,376
I am an on-set documentarian
slash talent liaison.
665
00:28:30,377 --> 00:28:33,463
Great. Well, why don't
you liaise these mats?
666
00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:37,134
PA, lay out the mats.
Are you kidding me?
667
00:28:38,135 --> 00:28:41,012
Eva, thanks so much for playing
the crazy celebrity card.
668
00:28:41,013 --> 00:28:43,181
Oh, honey, I've asked for crazier things.
669
00:28:43,182 --> 00:28:45,975
In season eight of Desperate Housewives,
I told them I wouldn't return
670
00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:47,894
unless they legalized gay marriage.
671
00:28:47,895 --> 00:28:49,604
And guess what? They did.
[chuckles]
672
00:28:49,605 --> 00:28:51,189
You're welcome, gays!
673
00:28:51,190 --> 00:28:53,275
[indistinct set chatter]
674
00:28:56,153 --> 00:28:58,155
[♪ "Contact" continues playing]
675
00:29:00,616 --> 00:29:03,576
[gasps] Oh, I get the plan now.
676
00:29:03,577 --> 00:29:05,786
See, I'm a visual learner.
677
00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:07,539
Do I have all my Olivers?
678
00:29:08,123 --> 00:29:09,374
Oh.
679
00:29:10,542 --> 00:29:12,252
- Oliver.
- [Oliver sighs]
680
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,462
Oliver.
681
00:29:14,463 --> 00:29:15,838
I'm Glen Stubbins!
682
00:29:15,839 --> 00:29:17,216
Stubbins, out!
683
00:29:17,883 --> 00:29:19,675
Zack and Oliver, get on your marks.
684
00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:21,344
Wait! Conference.
685
00:29:21,345 --> 00:29:23,095
♪ Eye contact ♪
686
00:29:23,096 --> 00:29:26,432
♪ Ooh, baby,
makin' eye contact ♪
687
00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:27,517
[sighs] Okay.
688
00:29:27,518 --> 00:29:28,935
[clears throat]
689
00:29:28,936 --> 00:29:31,103
Have you read the new changes
to the script? They're awful.
690
00:29:31,104 --> 00:29:32,522
What changes?
691
00:29:32,523 --> 00:29:34,023
For some reason, and don't ask me why,
692
00:29:34,024 --> 00:29:37,945
it seems as Marshall has done
a insecurity pass on your character.
693
00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:40,363
"Oliver stares at the murder board,
694
00:29:40,364 --> 00:29:43,407
"insecurely wondering who the killer is.
695
00:29:43,408 --> 00:29:44,992
"He flits around the room,
696
00:29:44,993 --> 00:29:48,204
an insecure Peter Pan
or an insecure Tinkerbell."
697
00:29:48,205 --> 00:29:49,956
Okay, you know, this is all about Jonk.
698
00:29:49,957 --> 00:29:51,082
Jack Jonk?
699
00:29:51,083 --> 00:29:52,750
- Mm-hmm.
- [Glen Stubbins] Hey! Hey!
700
00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:55,044
- [laughs] That dude fucks.
- [Glen] Aah! Bastards!
701
00:29:55,045 --> 00:29:56,128
Hard.
702
00:29:56,129 --> 00:29:58,256
We did a gender-bent take on Snow White,
703
00:29:58,257 --> 00:30:00,092
and he jonked all seven of the dwarves.
704
00:30:01,134 --> 00:30:03,428
You could hear them
hi-ho-ing from his trailer.
705
00:30:05,848 --> 00:30:09,016
He's playing my girlfriend's
new love interest on her show.
706
00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:10,602
Ah, sorry.
707
00:30:11,854 --> 00:30:13,145
Well, [stammers] you know,
708
00:30:13,146 --> 00:30:15,815
maybe he didn't jonk all seven.
It could've been...
709
00:30:15,816 --> 00:30:17,191
could've been five.
710
00:30:17,192 --> 00:30:18,734
[Trina]
Try one back-to-back.
711
00:30:18,735 --> 00:30:21,821
You share a vertebrae
and a shameful secret.
712
00:30:21,822 --> 00:30:24,199
Shame...
A shameful secret. Okay.
713
00:30:25,909 --> 00:30:27,577
[shutter snapping]
714
00:30:27,578 --> 00:30:28,996
[Tawny]
Now, turn around.
715
00:30:29,746 --> 00:30:30,789
Wiener-to-wiener.
716
00:30:31,874 --> 00:30:34,584
- W...
- Stubbins! Show 'em.
717
00:30:34,585 --> 00:30:36,043
Penis...
718
00:30:36,044 --> 00:30:38,129
♪ Just by makin'... ♪
719
00:30:38,130 --> 00:30:40,214
[shutter snapping]
720
00:30:40,215 --> 00:30:42,593
♪ Eye contact ♪
721
00:30:43,510 --> 00:30:45,179
♪ Makin' eye contact... ♪
722
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:47,931
Thank you.
723
00:30:48,849 --> 00:30:50,683
- Charles... Oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
724
00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:53,186
- My bad, I'm sorry.
- [awkward chatter]
725
00:30:53,187 --> 00:30:56,189
[♪ curious music playing]
726
00:30:56,190 --> 00:30:58,233
What, are we dancing?
727
00:30:59,484 --> 00:31:00,986
Two people.
728
00:31:01,987 --> 00:31:03,279
That's it.
729
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:04,488
♪
730
00:31:04,489 --> 00:31:07,075
My brain is back to thumping.
731
00:31:08,994 --> 00:31:09,994
Okay...
732
00:31:09,995 --> 00:31:12,997
[Marshall] The only thing that
gets you over imposter syndrome
733
00:31:12,998 --> 00:31:16,083
is actually doing the thing
you wanna be better at.
734
00:31:16,084 --> 00:31:19,545
Mabel, I figured out the how.
735
00:31:19,546 --> 00:31:23,090
It wasn't one person who did the murder.
It was two.
736
00:31:23,091 --> 00:31:26,302
One to shoot and one to clean up.
737
00:31:26,303 --> 00:31:28,971
- [♪ music building]
- Now, which two people coulda done it?
738
00:31:28,972 --> 00:31:32,893
[Marshall] Putting ideas together
till they make some kind of sense.
739
00:31:34,603 --> 00:31:36,646
Until you've got something that you did,
740
00:31:36,647 --> 00:31:39,524
something you figured out.
741
00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:41,192
[shutter snapping]
742
00:31:41,193 --> 00:31:43,361
Or it all makes less sense,
743
00:31:43,362 --> 00:31:45,947
and then it's time for another rewrite.
744
00:31:45,948 --> 00:31:48,033
[shutter snapping]
745
00:31:48,909 --> 00:31:51,662
[♪ music building]
746
00:31:54,957 --> 00:31:57,918
Oh, Trina, he's off his mark.
Can you move him?
747
00:32:01,505 --> 00:32:02,505
[Oliver wails]
748
00:32:02,506 --> 00:32:03,590
[quietly] Thank you.
749
00:32:07,427 --> 00:32:08,428
[shutter snapping]
750
00:32:10,514 --> 00:32:12,598
♪
751
00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:13,683
[gunshot]
752
00:32:13,684 --> 00:32:14,768
[body thuds]
753
00:32:15,394 --> 00:32:16,395
[shuts door]
754
00:32:17,479 --> 00:32:19,230
[zipping bag]
755
00:32:19,231 --> 00:32:21,148
♪
756
00:32:21,149 --> 00:32:22,441
[shutter snaps]
757
00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:25,236
Oh, my God, you're totally right.
758
00:32:25,237 --> 00:32:27,029
They could've done this.
759
00:32:27,030 --> 00:32:30,284
[♪ music building]
760
00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:32,661
[shutter snaps]
761
00:32:33,912 --> 00:32:36,539
Where's the other Brothers sister?
762
00:32:36,540 --> 00:32:37,624
[shutter snaps]
763
00:32:40,544 --> 00:32:43,881
[♪ music swells]
764
00:32:44,214 --> 00:32:45,381
- [gunshot]
- [people screaming]
765
00:32:45,382 --> 00:32:47,842
- [crew member] Gun!
- [Howard] Oh, my God, they've been shot!
766
00:32:47,843 --> 00:32:50,344
[people screaming and shouting]
767
00:32:50,345 --> 00:32:51,971
[fading out]
768
00:32:51,972 --> 00:32:55,058
[♪ solemn music playing]
769
00:33:16,330 --> 00:33:17,998
♪
770
00:33:43,106 --> 00:33:45,107
[♪ music fades out]
771
00:33:45,108 --> 00:33:48,111
[♪ fanfare playing]